Midway upon the journey of our life

I found myself within a forest dark,

For the straightforward pathway had been lost.

~ Dante - The Divine Comedy

Title if you want

You can have a title if you want, but as it turns out, titles mean nothing. No surprise, right? A t-shirt that says, “I’m a great Father!” or a business card that says “CTO” means nothing. Anything real has to be built step by step, and brick by proverbial brick. Building a company or building yourself is an iterative process, and sometimes half the battle is preparing yourself to learn. First you show up and execute on an idea at, then you learn, then you execute again, get punched in the stomach, learn some more, then rinse and repeat. I’m not going to talk about my past failures and successes right now, maybe later. Right now I’m going to start the conversation about finding the straightforward path.

Ready to learn

I’ve been a first-time CTO for a few years, at least in name, however it’s only with the birth of my daughter a little over 4 months ago that I’ve really begun the process of actually becoming a CTO in any real sense. The real question when a new baby arrives is, are you ready to strip away the ego and are you ready to learn. A great parent has to do countless things well, all in the face of doing the majority of those things poorly at least once. The willingness to take some knocks on the chin and make mistakes, while working hard to do better at everything you do, is key to starting the journey of being a good parent. So the question is, are you ready to learn?

The new parent and dirty diapers

Because I’m a new parent, I’m quick to draw an analogy between learning to be a good father and learning to help build and grow a company. So what does this have to do with learning to become a CTO? Well, as it turns out it’s not so much about becoming a CTO as it is about giving the company what it needs. In truth the startup CTO isn’t much of a CTO at all. Baby steps. In a startup there are roles to be filled at every level. A software startup needs everything from a janitor to a CEO and everything in between. In a startup all that really exists are a continuum of needs, and if any of those needs are neglected the company suffers. And, just like for the first time parent the question for someone trying to build a business is, are you ready to learn? I’m sure my wife Vanessa thinks I have quite a bit more to learn about dirty diapers.

What does your business need?

To continue to parenting analogy, I believe it takes a community to raise a child. New parents don’t have all the answers and nobody expects them to. What parents are expected to have is commitment and a willingness to do better each day. If you’re lucky enough to be involved with a startup company you need that same commitment and the same willingness to be better each day. The only way anyone fills any of the roles in a company successfully is by doing them successfully. I’ll never be a great CTO unless I’m a great product manager, a great janitor, a person of character, a great student, a person with drive and deep commitment, and a million other things. I have to be willing to take my failures and turn them all into lessons, and learn. I also have to be willing to ask for help, seek out mentors, and participate in an ongoing discussion. It takes a community to build a successful company.

Truism: You are what you choose to become

It’s obvious to say that it takes choosing to be a good parent to be a good parent. I’d imagine there’s almost nobody that has so much parenting talent that they got everything right the first time through, the second time through, or pretty much any time through. I think the quality good parents to bring to the table is the willingness to get better every day for the sake of their children. A committed member of any startup has to bring that same commitment, willingness to learn, and drive to improve. Raising a daughter is not the same thing as helping build a company, but there are some very useful lessons you can take from one and apply to the other. One thing is for sure, you will be never good at either unless you show up every day in a selfless way with a commitment to do better. Once you decide what you want to become it takes small steps every day to get there. Baby steps.

More than you can give

Growth always requires that you give more than you think you can give. I’m absolutely certain that being a good father to my daughter Isobella will, at times, seem to take more than I can give, but I know what my commitment is, and failure is simply not an option. I wake up each morning excited to see her smiling face, and her smile tells me that she has perfect confidence in my ability to be a great father. A startup company won’t always wake up smiling at you in the morning, and I’m sure at some point Isobel will have a bad morning, so in both cases you strip away the ego and roll up your shirt sleeves and get to work. Today my company needs a product manager, and I’ve got some user stories to write. If I listen carefully enough I’m sure my daughter will tell me what she needs today too. 

Time to get working on creating the straightforward path, one lesson at a time. Thanks for listening to me think.

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